Hiatus from drama world and normal life (coding camp pt. 2)

The original title of this post was Mid-camp annoyances, discoveries, and confusing moments and I had about 1300 words typed and 80 percent of the reason why I didn’t ever get to posting it was because I was lazy and the other 20 percent was because the post was actually pretty cringeworthy and I would never have imagined that someone would follow me besides Taremin so I feel like I should be more careful because my cringeworthy identity is sort of revealed to more people than I’d like (partially my fault for being dumb and commenting under this account). I usually have my posts to be mainly casual and unorganized, and that aspect probably won’t change even if I try because I only post on whim (as can be seen by all of the drama recaps I never finished, and all of the ones I never posted) as a way to relieve stress.

Working at two camps, I thought it to be appropriate to continue to talk about them. Initially I complained about camp, even though I didn’t have a right to do so, being one of the youngest and least experienced in computer science (I took a class two years ago and our teacher was on his phone all the time-it wasn’t his fault, kids still did good in the class, but I wasn’t the best at coding). Because of that, I didn’t feel like I could help people, but at the same time, I was getting annoyed by the people around me. However, at the end of that first camp I realized how much I missed everyone. I kept seeing people that reminded me of the people at the camp on campus and it made me excited for a second, but when I realized they weren’t, it left a deeper hole in me. After all the parents came to pick the campers up, it hit me that everyone was leaving me behind and I had to suffer the next week alone. In a way it reminded me of my impending trip to college, where I will basically be leaving everyone I know to leave. But that’s for another day.

This week was not as bad as I thought it would have been, even though I somehow thought waking up at 6am to go running with the campers sounded okay (spoiler: I’m NOT okay). Surprisingly, I was somehow able to help a lot of the girls with their code and the instructor even asked me to write stuff on the board. Even though I’m not in the same group as the other girls who were camp staff last week, I got to room with a girl that I could really talk to about things. My roommate and I are actually pretty similar and could talk about a lot of things. We had a lot of things in common actually and both met two years ago at a camp for children with disabilities, where I vaguely remembered her and our personalities were quite similar. In just two days we talked about the camp for children with disabilities, the Midwest convention, the coding camp last year, Korean shows, problems with not being touchy feely, being indifferent towards guys we like, creepy guys, bad sleeping habits, orchestra life, college life, UT, and a bunch of other stuff that I can’t even remember. It’s so weird that we could connect to such an extent, and as a person who believes in fate and superstitions more than a human probably should, I felt grateful.

I guess some of the most important things I learned from being a part of these camps was to enjoy the presence of others, as I often took the presence of my family for granted. I wanted to cry because during the second week I only had myself to be with. Additionally, even though most people from school would describe me as a person who really goes for it and doesn’t care what people think, I don’t think I really go for it. Honestly, I imagine I’m a character in a drama that’s about to present an important presentation or save the world from a terrible danger. When it comes to people, I wait for people to come meet with me first because I’m scared that they might not like me. This is weird, but when I take pictures with others I feel awkward extending my arms and touching them and I really need to work on that too.

It felt really weird today too because I felt like I wanted to talk to someone, anyone, but there was no one that I could talk to. Even if I made the effort, I felt like they just distanced themselves. All of the people I normally talk to, I feel like they’re busy enjoying their summers in one way or another. I feel, as an extrovert, at a loss because even if I want to contact someone, it’s usually pretty short, or they read the message and never reply. I tried skyping one of my friends and he was going to play league, I tried to talk to my roommate, but she wanted to listen to the conversation with the other girls about mainstream television shows, and I actually did talk with one of the lab assistants and she went to go help someone and later sat down one further away from me. I know it’s probably not anyone’s fault- I wish I would be busy enough that I wouldn’t need someone to talk to. I tried to read other blogs to just lift my tired self, but NONE OF THEM UPDATED. I need new content lol.

This being a blog about Korean dramas, I thought I should at least post about my recent activity in that department. After this week I am actually visiting Korea for a week. Yay!! I’m planning on vlogging and possibly blogging if I feel like it. I’m so excited and I love how we’re not going to have much of a plan because I have been so busy with everything I’ve been trying to do this summer (keyword is “trying”). I have been continuing Running Man and am almost done with some dramas that I need to finish, like Entertainer and Ghost (gonna try to recap those …maybe, still deciding whether I should do Cheese In the Trap after the mess that was). However, because I’m at camp I haven’t had the opportunity to watch a lot and it feels so weird to not be watching regularily and just checking social media on my phone like the other counselors. Some dramas I’m excited for  in the summer are Uncontrollably Fond, starring Suzy and Kim Woo-bin (Taremin’s favorite), W, the Lee Jong-suk drama, Wanted,  and that one drama with Kim So-hyun (one of my personal favorite actresses) and Taecyeon (don’t like him as much), Hey Ghost, Let’s Fight. I can’t wait to go back home for half a day and disappear into drama world because even though some might think it’s unhealthy, to me it is a vicarious escape from the stress of real life.

I tried to make this more organized and I think my thoughts just got lost even more, but hey, at least I have Police Force 38 (the new Sooyoung and Seo In-guk drama that aired this week) to watch in the dorms later.

Lonely-Woman

Coding camp life updates pt. 1

So it’s been only half a day with my campers at UT and I already feel like I’m doing such a crap job. I mean, I guess it could be worse. It’s kind of weird and lonely living by myself, but I think caring for others makes me forget that fact a bit. It’s sort of stressful because I don’t know where everything is and I have to be the one in charge and guide them where they should be. The people at the camp are okay for the most part; they’re definitely not that I expected and they made me realize an important fact about myself. It made me realize that I choose to be friends with people that I know that I will click with, which is why I didn’t have many friends in elementary school (because everyone else didn’t care about school to the extent that I did–not that I cared that much in elementary). The fact that I can’t talk to these people as easily shows that I was probably not meant to be at a huge place like UT, where a ton of people with different experiences come together and might not have the same work ethic as I do. I guess that’s life, but I realized that the friends I make tend to be similar to me in their study habits and are not the super backstab-y type. I really don’t know how else to describe it.

Anyway, yesterday I was tearing up watching The Entertainer, and it was SO SAD. I thought there were only going to be 16 episodes too, but thank goodness there’s more because the ending in 16 was okay, but way too abrupt. I’m starting to watch the early Running Man episodes because I’m lacking in the variety department, especially since I don’t have a particular group that I like to the point that I’d watch all of their variety shows. Another variety show that I enjoy watching is Hello Counselor, a show where people talk about their problems and the hosts try to help resolve the problem(s). It’s soothing because although I have to constantly move my eyes and read the bottom of the screen (subs), I can feel at least a little bit better about my life, since it’s usually never as extreme as the people who do come on the show. However, these days I haven’t been watching the show as much because of all the work that it takes to read the subtitles, even though I pretty much have to do the same for almost every other Korean show; I guess it may be because one person is giving their entire life story on Hello Counselor, and that takes a lot of words to explain. One good thing about today is that it’s Monday (Running Man comes on Dramafever on Mondays)! Although I have been watching the early episodes, the newer episodes are more relevant and fresh (and Joong-ki’s face pops up once in a while, and that’s nice to see) and the members are more attuned to their characters. After watching quite a few old episodes, I kind of understand why Running Man  was almost canceled. It’s not that the members are that much different (in fact, I actually really like Lizzy and Joong-ki), but the games don’t really do much to affect the final punishment (it’s pretty much luck in the end–which is the point, but I didn’t really like that). Now, the games build to the final game, instead of constantly collecting the “running balls” every single episode.

Today, I finally figured out a ton of things to get finally checked off at UT and I feel so so SO relieved because I feel like since I’m one of the few that isn’t already at UT/going to UT in the fall, I don’t have the information I needed to complete all the forms and also the procedures were a bit unclear. I just helped these two girls and I could actually solve it!! I was so happy that I could actually do some code (even though it was rather simple), because basically after the CS AP exam I lost all hope in myself and thought that I really couldn’t code anything. I guess I’m definitely more confident in helping others, even though I still doubt my skills even now. I feel like these students would probably know more than me and would be able to do better. Sigh, why do I have low self-confidence.

On the bright side, I feel lie a lot of things are panning out (especially with the payroll and work identification things that I was worrying about before camp).

I feel like I’ve finished a drama…

If you know me, I’ve been watching dramas these days pretty much nonstop, the only thing hindering me from continuously watching are my food needs. I honestly wonder what my parents think I’m doing all the time since it’s summer and I’m leaving soon for my first real job at UT. Anyway, yesterday I was thinking to myself, what drama did I finish after watching all day for the past two weeks? The answer to that is none. I have watched so many and have stayed on episodes 14-19 on most of them. I feel like it’s an obligation for me to finish most of them even if I don’t have any interest in them anymore, it’s weird. This is random, but yesterday I found this LINE friends game called LINE Rangers and it was so fun until I got to this one boss level and I couldn’t beat it so I have to now play all the earlier levels to level up my little LINE friends, so it’s not that fun anymore.

The other day I got really into watching MLFAS (My Love From Another Star) again, so I stayed up until 6:30am watching it (also I wasn’t feeling tired either). I don’t know how I could’ve missed so many parts because a lot of the parts felt new to me for some odd reason. I’m currently on the path to finishing The Entertainer, which is a cute and serious drama that portrays the livings of a band that was put together. I really enjoy the character development of the characters, but I also heard that the characters had changed greatly because of the audience response to Ji Sung’s character, Shin Suk-ho (apparently netizens thought he was “too mean”–personally I thought both versions of him were well acted, but there was no way he could get support by continuing to be mean, if you watch the drama you’ll understand…maybe). I’m currently on episode 15 of this drama and I fully intend to finish watching the remaining two episodes.

Now for the title, you may be wondering…but she hasn’t even finished a drama this summer yet? (Okay, actually I have…but it was a web drama, Thumping Spike, it’s super cute and has a plot that is perfect for any girl, or guy, no judgement, that needs a little more heart fluttery scenes in her life) So yesterday I just finished this reality series that FNC released a loooong time ago. It seemed so realistic and gave me more insight on how the K-pop scenes really goes down, although I know a lot of stuff was seriously edited and scripted probably. Anyway, that’s beside the point, the main point is that the show got me back into CNBLUE, probably my first favorite K-pop boy band/group ever. Which is weird because although they had made their comeback not too long ago, I didn’t even listen to their songs this time around (please don’t hurt me boices…). And this is coming from a girl who bought CNBLUE’s entire album (the one with I’m Sorry as the title track) and a couple of other songs, including the Heartstrings OST album on iTunes (oh the days when I had my iPhone–that reminds me, I finally switched over to Samsung :)). So yeah, this entire post was basically supposed to be about how I finished Cheongdamdong 111, but ended up being more like a life update. I kind of like these types of posts. Maybe I’ll do more of these.

Bye for now 🙂

Thumping Spike Thoughts

In the beginning, I wanted to watch a short drama that would possibly lift me from these boring, dreary shows I was watching (Ghost, Cheese in the Trap, Marriage Not Dating, etc..). I was wary of the female actress since I didn’t particularly like her in her past works (I’m looking at  you, Madame Antonine). I honestly thought this drama was weird in that they would win based on how they felt that day, instead of actual skills. I guess this drama is mainly surrounding the romance so it makes sense in a way. I really liked the actress that played Son Soo-bin; her smile is so pretty and her face looks so innocent (she was the young female lead in Twenty Again). It’s weird because I liked this cute short despite the fact that I don’t like the lead actors. I think it’s the cute story line that sold it to me. Though the volleyball scenes appeared sort of fake to me at times, they really did try to make it appear realistic (though the fact that the last place team made it to first place in the end, is sort of unrealistic and cliche). The girl also did not look like she was a spiker since she was so short, but who’s complaining? It’s a cute, lighthearted drama that made me cringe in the best way.

Ghost Episodes 1-16

Since school ended last friday, I needed a drama to chillax and just have something to do besides school things. The beginning was very intense with all of the fire and blowing up and dying/killing that was going on. So after watching a couple episodes, because I could still tolerate So Ji-sub and Lee Yeon-hee, I decided to watch the series. It’s pretty intense and I sort of like how everything connects to one big plot. Lee Yeon-hee’s acting is like what others have said, sort of bland. I feel like So Ji-sub is carrying this drama, but it’s a good drama to just watch in between and still be slightly intrigued.

I’ve been rewatching past dramas (Marriage, Not Dating and Cheese in the Trap) and they’ve left me a bit disappointed. For both of them, I have 1.5 episodes left, I might just watch them both at the same time. At this point, Ghost is slowly fading to the background because each episode is so similar and that makes it a bit boring. Right now I’m watching meejmuse, one of the cutest people on YouTube, I just enjoy listening to her talk to the camera, no matter what the video concept is.