I feel like these days I’m feeling less motivated to do things in general; even though I feel like certain things should get done, my brain doesn’t motivate me to do them. I think the most my brain does for me throughout the day is writing these posts, which is why I still do it. Although I don’t realize it, when I re-read my old posts, I really see how I’ve grown throughout the person, but more importantly as a writer. I consider this blog like a journal of my thoughts and a journey through what I’m doing, so my outlook is quite different from before. I thought the concept of being anonymous and writing about things that you wouldn’t want the whole world to know was interesting at the time, and I still do. I think these days, with the Internet, nothing is truly private anymore. My name is no longer something I feel like belongs to me, but just a suffix at the end of my documents to keep a record of. I feel like my account name, dramaqueensoph, defines me as a person better. It doesn’t have much meaning behind it, other than what you can see from the surface, but it’s something that I came up with that has been with me for three years. I was just searching Google for “dramaqueensoph” and I happened to stumble upon this!
I’m just amazed at the fact that someone credited me for that post. It was a rather popular post (with 6 notes!). My Tumblr account was SO 2014, but looking back, it wasn’t too shabby; I mainly retweeted posts, but I haven’t touched it in so long, and I don’t think I will be (also forgot my password and which email I used). I remember Taremin and I would keep tagging each other in posts and now I’m wondering how I must have lived my life back then because Tumblr was such a time drain. I’m looking through it right now and I think I actually saved most of the pictures on there (haha). I remember at the time I thought my Tumblr handle was soo creative. It’s a Luhan and Baekhyun-centered blog account, so I mixed both of their names together. Luhan’s animal was a deer (not sure why, I think it was because fans thought he looked like a deer?) and Baekhyun’s surname is Byun: so the phrase actually reads “dear cutie bun”, without the play on words. Honestly, those were pretty nice days, because I wasn’t super stressed, but I always had something to look forward to (aka EXO videos). Thinking about maybe writing an EXO related post, but just realized I could do that here because there isn’t too much to it.
Anyway, I think my first “true” K-pop phase was in the spring of 2014 (it’s scary to think that was only three years ago). I remember all I could think of was how much time I could spend watching EXO’s Showtime variety show; I think my grades went down that year as well. I felt like I had transported to another world that I could visit by checking Tumblr and going on my laptop at home. I remember I even learned all of the Growl dance, which says a lot, especially since it was during AP season. I think around that time My Love From Another Star was airing as well. Wow..that was really the peak obsession time.