I think I realized that hanging out with people who are so different from who you are is that I’ve gotten more scared of doing things. Things I usually wouldn’t hesitate to do, I know hesitate. I wonder, will people judge me? Sometimes I just do it before I get the chance to think about it, so that by the time I think about it, I’ve already done it. I’ve never been the kind of person that did things to get recognition from others, I mainly did things that I thought was the right thing for myself, which tended to align with what society thought was appropriate in a way. I think it’s important to challenge yourself, but what happens when you are not forced to do anything anymore. It scares me more than having a busy schedule.
Maybe everyone is just always conscious of themselves, but my mind has been in dramaland for so long that I forgot about the real world.
I haven’t written something legitimate for so long that it’s hard to come up with content to write about, even if it’s just my thoughts.