I decided to start something new last month and I wanted to introduce it here: fb.com/soapbox1004.
It’s a Korean radio music and talk show I’ve always wanted to start, and I’m finally getting the opportunity to do it. But for some reason, I still feel a hole in my heart. Is it because my dad won’t let me study abroad? I never really wanted to admit it, but now I’m almost 100% sure of it. This entire break consisting of me staying at home and wasting away days, weeks, and now an entire month, has made me realize, how deeply I want this dream to come true. Even though I try to imagine my life without it, it’s like my brain refuses to. I still can’t make sense of it though.
In the midst of feeling burnt out from school and just life in general, I decided to write this post on my Facebook page. It’s just so ironic how life is. We are grown up with society telling us to find something that we like, but once we try to pursue the one that we decided to like a lot, it’s somehow no longer accepted by society. When I was little I thought I knew why people continue to enjoy their lives, but now I realize that people just continue with their lives because they can’t die. We’re born already tied down to too much.
2018 Welcoming Post on Facebook:
I never thought it to be possible for the year to end, but here it is, the end. It’s kind of a weird feeling because I’m still laying on the floor of my room, just like how I was the past two weeks, but somehow everything is supposed to change in about five hours from now. I still haven’t done anything or accomplished anything worth noting besides maybe finishing 32 episodes of ‘My Golden Life’ in two days, and subbing the final scene of episode 34 as a result. Next year I’m somehow supposed to be better. Wiser, smarter, faster, but if I’ve learned anything in my past 19 years of life, is that it doesn’t. Life doesn’t get better because you make a tiny wish to yourself for it to be better. At least it didn’t for me. Even so, every year I still carry a tiny bit a hope. Hope that maybe, maybe this year I’ll be able to do something I’ll remember for years and years and be proud of. Cheers to a somehow “better” year. Welcome, 2018.
저는 올해가 끝날 수는 있다고 생각하지 않았지만 여기 있다: 끝이. 느낌이 참 이상하다. 왜냐하면 전 아직도 방 바닥에서 눕고 있다, 지난 이 주동안 처럼. 근데 다섯 시간 뒤에 어쩐지 다 바꿀 건다. 저는 이 방학에 이상적인 게 없구요, 그냥 ‘황금밫 내인생’ 이틀에 32회 다 봤고 34회 마지막 장면 편집했다. 내년에 전 더 좋아하게 돼야 된댄다. 근데 제 인생동안 이건 아닌다는 결정한다. 그래도 매년에 저는 작은 희망을 가지기 있다. 아마, 아마 이년에 저는 드디어 제가 자랑스러운 건 할 건다. 환영한다, 2018.